Spring is the season of rejuvenation. It is a season of new beginnings, of youthful vigor, and of fresh starts. It is a time for revival of self; of nature. It is a season of waking up with renewed confidence and resolution; ready to take on whatever challenges change and renewal may bring.
Diamond was no stranger to change—in fact, change was all they could have ever wanted. Each spring they desperately hoped something would change; they hoped with renewed confidence each year that things would finally be different.
But Diamond was met with the same fate this season—the fate that they would always be inferior to their partner; to Bortz. They couldn't help but smile upon seeing Bortz, despite their helpless state. Bortz’s face was plagued with worry; anguish; disquiet—that Diamond could scarcely hear the sound coming from their partner’s mouth. Instead, their focus was on their eyes—they were narrower than usual, their pupils widening upon seeing Diamond’s current physical state, or lack thereof. Diamond’s face was shattered, the white powder that decorated their outer layer chiseled and eroded away. Their arms and legs laid on the floor next to them, sharp edges reminding them of their weakness and inferiority.
Despite their best efforts, Diamond didn't remember much after that. They only remember waking up in Rutile’s office, as the doctor worked on piecing them back together.
“Ah, you're awake.” The calming, soothing sound of the doctor’s voice graced Diamond’s ears, assuring them they were in the present.
Diamond moved a pieced back hand to their forehead, groaning. “Rutile? What happened…?”
A quick clack and Diamond’s left arm was back in place, causing the gem to squint and recoil backward slightly. “Bortz brought you to me in several pieces… Sensei had to help me reshape your face.” Seeing Diamond’s stunned reaction, Rutile attempted to reassure them. “Ah, but don't worry. Bortz is fine—that lunarian turned out to be pretty harmless.”
Surprised, Diamond pestered Rutile to explain further. “Harmless? How?”
“It turned into very small… fragments. Their tongues dangled outside their mouths which made their breathing quite loud. I tried dissecting them but every time I did, they'd just multiply and produce more.” Rutile paused. “I guess to some of us they were… cute.”
Diamond laughed—this kind of behaviour was to be expected of the resident ‘quack’ doctor— which helped to ease their anxiety over the events that had previously transpired. “My, that does sounds rather cute! Are they still around? I'd love to see one!”
Another loud crack erupted as Diamond’s left leg clicked into place, causing them to nearly fall over from their sitting position. “Unfortunately they're all gone. They just vanished suddenly before I could try experimenting on them again...”
Diamond sulked, which made Rutile laugh. It was a rare occasion to hear a chuckle from the doctor though, so seeing them smile managed to brighten up Diamond’s mood. “Well, after I'm done with you, maybe you can talk to everyone about it. Perhaps that will give you more of an idea about the fragments. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you back together too, Dia.”
Diamond nodded, smiling. After a few more clicks, clacks, and cracks, Diamond was finally back together again. Rutile took their time filling in the cracks of Diamond’s outer layer with powder, careful as to not damage them again. When they were finished, Rutile gave a quick clap of the hands.
“You're all set. Go let everyone know you're back to normal.”
“Mm, thank you, Rutile!”
Without much hesitation, Diamond exited Rutile’s office with haste. Red Beryl was the first gem that greeted them, and Diamond wasted no time complaining about the small creature they didn't get to see.
Armed with a small plush of the fragmented lunarian they didn't get to meet, Diamond was happy Red Beryl took the time to make a stuffed toy of it. It was a spark of happiness that pushed Diamond’s shame and regret to the side. They had yet to fully face Bortz head-on about the incident, and weren't really sure they wanted to.
Alone with their thoughts after the long day of catching up with everyone, Diamond retired to their bedroom a bit early. The clacking of their heels in the desolate and empty hallway was satisfying in a way; it was satisfying to be alone, free from the influence of Bortz. The ever-present truth of their failure and inadequacy far from Diamond’s mind without Bortz’s presence. In some strange way, they were happy Bortz had moved on from having them as a partner. It was surely liberating for Bortz as well, not having to always protect a useless partner such as Diamond.
Upon Diamond’s eventual arrival in their room, they found they were not alone.
A familiar figure arose from the bed, a tired but worrisome look on their face.
“You haven't talked to Bortz, have you, Dia?”
“Yellow…”
“Answer me, Dia.” They replied, a stern look on their face.
Diamond looked down at the floor beneath them, their eyes fixated on the monotone ground surrounding their feet. “No, I haven't.”
Yellow Diamond sighed, their expression softening into a small smile. “I understand, but you need to face Bortz eventually.”
Diamond shifted their position, bringing their thumbs together and fidgeting with them. Their sour expression was more than telling to Yellow Diamond, who saw the pain that Dia was trying to mask. “I know, but I…”
“I know.” Yellow Diamond responded, moving one of their hands to cup Diamond’s chin in their palm. “You don't need to hide your pain from me, Dia. I can see it.”
Moving towards their bed, Diamond sat down and gestured for Yellow Diamond to follow suit. Diamond shifted their hands on their lap, rubbing their fingers absentmindedly as they stared at the floor surrounding their black shoes. “I guess I can't hide anything from you, can I, Yellow?” They stifled a laugh, continuing to rub their fingers, eventually moving on to playing with strands of their hair. “What am I to do, I wonder?”
Yellow Diamond brushed away a strand of Diamond’s hair from their face, their eyes folding halfway to look at their sibling. “I can't tell you what the best course of action is, but you can't keep avoiding this.”
Diamond—finally able to look up at Yellow Diamond—felt their eyes sparkling in the faint light being directed into their room from the moon’s light. They stopped fidgeting with their hair and asked their senpai straight. “How can I face Bortz when I couldn't even defend myself from something that ended up being so harmless?”
It was quiet. Yellow Diamond knew that their younger sibling was struggling with their feelings of inadequacy. It was nothing new, but the gem couldn't stop worrying about Diamond, as well as Bortz, and their relationship.
After a long silence, Yellow Diamond asked, “Do you hate Bortz?”
Eyes widening, Diamond looked away from their older sibling, a hand covering their mouth as they did so. Diamond blinked their eyes repeatedly, trying not to focus them on anything in particular. This wasn't an easy question for Diamond to answer.
Bortz had always been around for as long as Diamond could remember. There were only a small number of years between them, and so it was difficult for Diamond to remember a time when Bortz hadn't been around. They had always been partners; they had always been together. It wasn't clear to Diamond exactly when the power balance shifted, but it had been so long since then—it was difficult to remember otherwise.
While it was true that Diamond truly cared for Bortz, their mind had always been plagued with thoughts of apprehension. They knew that one day they would be replaced by someone stronger, but despite all this, Diamond ever remained content to stay by Bortz’s side, hoping that one day they could prove themselves as worthy to be their partner, but…
That moment never came. Every spring they would hope something inside of them would change—they hoped they would wake up stronger and more resilient—a worthy partner to their beloved Bortz. However, no matter how hard they tried to improve themselves, no matter how hard they wished they could be stronger, they always lagged behind their partner. Despite Diamond’s high hardness, they always cracked under pressure; they always wound up broken when trying to fight against the lunarians without Bortz. Because of that, Diamond grew to resent Bortz, not in a way in which they wished harm upon their partner, but in a way that they were angry at them for always being the one to come to their rescue; always the one to fight; and always the one upset when Diamond even got the smallest chance to try and fight.
They were also angry at themselves for being so weak, and couldn't help but assume their partner felt the same way. After all, who wouldn't be ashamed to have such a weak partner? Who wouldn't grow to hate a partner that was so absolutely useless?
However, when Bortz saw Diamond shattered in front of that giant lunarian…
“ Nii-chan! ”
Diamond remembered feeling a strong sensation coming from the left side of their chest. They could not explain why this occurrence happened—or even how—they just remember that it happened. It wasn't any kind of sensation they had ever felt before. It reminded Diamond of the sting they would feel when being repaired by Rutile, but it was different somehow. All they remember after that is talking to Bortz without so much of a face.
“ I’m glad we split up. From afar, I see just how much you mean to me. ”
A strange sort of of cold blew throughout the room. It wasn't a tangible cold, like the cool wind on a warm spring day, but a dreary presence that formed around the room, making both Diamond and Yellow Diamond feel uneasy.
“I… don't hate Bortz.” Diamond proclaimed after a long period of silence. “I love them dearly, but I can't help but feel inadequate when I'm around them.”
Yellow Diamond sighed, aware they were probably asking a rhetorical question. “Have you tried talking to them about how you feel?”
Diamond breathed in deeply, releasing a quiet sigh from their exhale. “How can I admit such weakness to Bortz? I have to figure this out myself.”
Yellow Diamond sighed—again—moving their hand to gently pat Diamond on the head. They smiled softly, their genuine, elderly sibling concern growing. Yellow Diamond wanted to laugh—reassuring Diamond that nothing would get resolved this way—but refrained for their sibling’s sake. Instead, they allowed their smile to turn into a bigger grin, and began to pat Diamond’s head again, gently. “Nothing will get resolved if you don’t talk this out.”
Diamond cast their gaze from Yellow Diamond’s eyes to the floor, letting out a small sigh. They allowed their eyes to focus on a small speck of black on the floor, and Diamond began to fidget with their thumbs again. Their thoughts began to quickly fill with anxiety and dread, causing one of the recently repaired cracks on Diamond’s legs to crack slightly. Diamond never wanted Bortz to learn of their innermost, intimate thoughts—they never wanted their now former partner to acknowledge their weakness. Bortz was the one gem that Diamond didn’t want to know of their failing.
“I can’t—”
“Yes, you can.” Yellow Diamond spoke sternly, their gaze locked on their sibling. Diamond fidgeted anxiously, unable to match Yellow Diamond’s gaze. They continued to avert their eyes while fidgeting restlessly, not wanting to contemplate the idea of talking to Bortz about their problem—but they did anyway. Diamond imagined Bortz getting upset and yelling at them; demanding them to stop trying.
“Why are you worrying about such nonsense?”
Diamond could imagine Bortz speaking to them as if they were in front of them at this very moment. The shame and anger they felt manifested in a tight sensation that gripped Diamond’s chest, making it difficult for them to breathe.
Suddenly, Diamond felt their eyes begin to itch as cracks began to form beneath them, small crystals forming and falling from their pupils.
“Dia?” Yellow Diamond questioned, moving their head in an attempt to see Diamond’s face.
“I just can’t, Yellow! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t—”
Realizing Diamond’s distress, Yellow offered a hand on Diamond’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, I’m sorry Dia! I shouldn’t have pushed it!” They spoke in a panicked tone—gently—beginning to rub Diamond’s shoulder as a small comfort.
Yellow Diamond knew they shouldn’t have pushed the subject too far, but they hadn’t realized just how deep a wound Diamond was really carrying with them. Seeing Diamond’s reaction made them realize Diamond needed a lot more help than they thought, but Yellow Diamond was unsure of how to help at such a breaking point. The most they could really think to do at this point was to back off and take some time to come up with a solution.
“Dia—” Yellow Diamond was cut off mid sentence upon hearing the clack of footsteps, and noticed a new presence in the room.
Diamond looked up to see what the fuss was about—their jaw dropped seeing who was in their doorway. “Bortz…”
“I need to talk to Diamond, Yellow. Can I ask you to leave?” Their voice was stern; serious—as was usual, but there was a certain firmness in their voice that commanded more authority than usual.
Yellow Diamond gave their sibling’s shoulder one last rub as they stood to their feet, walking towards the exit. Before they left completely, they whispered something into Bortz’s ear.
“Please be gentle.”
Bortz only nodded as Yellow Diamond exited the room, the clacking of their shoes heard in the distance slowing fading with the distance.
“Diamond.”
Bortz’s voice commanded a force that made Diamond look up from their curled up position. Diamond’s face was still cracked underneath their eyes, but the crystals had at least stopped forming. Their hair had jumbled together in front of their face, making it difficult to see their eyes anyway, but Bortz looked as if they could see right through it.
They were still dressed in their spring uniform as they began to walk towards Diamond, their shoes making a loud clacking sound that only grew louder the closer they grew to Diamond’s position. They walked very slowly, which only made Diamond more anxious, but when Bortz finally stood directly in front of their former partner, Diamond started to relax seeing the look in Bortz’s eyes.
Their eyebrows were not furrowed as normal, but were instead formed into a soft expression, which made their eyes look more sad than angry.
Not long after the approach, Bortz collapsed to their knees. This startled Diamond—of course—but it wasn’t long until Bortz moved again. They placed their hand around Diamond’s ankle firmly, but gently. Their voice was raspy when they spoke.
“Please do not put yourself in danger like that ever again.”
“Bortz?” Diamond questioned. This behaviour was not like Bortz, and so it puzzled them. They tried to make sense of the situation, but all they could focus on was Bortz’s soft grip on their ankle. Their chest began to tighten once again as they waited for Bortz’s next move.
Bortz sat in their position for a long time before moving again—several minutes had passed before they loosened their grip on Diamond’s ankle. The anguish that had befallen Bortz when they saw Diamond had taken a strong grip on them. Seeing Diamond’s state after observing them broken and shattered earlier struck a very strong chord in Bortz, which caused them to feel weak. This weakness was not something Bortz wanted anyone to see—nor was it something they would ever experience as a seasoned fighter—but if anyone was to see them in a spot of weakness, they were glad it was Diamond.
When Bortz finally stood up again before Diamond, they closely inspected the cracks in their face, as well as their messy hair. They leaned down slowly, slipping their gloves off their fingers as they swooped Diamond’s hair out of their face. Diamond winced slightly, but allowed Bortz to touch them. It was a touch that didn’t feel familiar to Diamond—it was gentle; tender.
Placing a hand on the hand that was touching their face, Diamond gripped onto Bortz with a strange affection. “I’m okay, Bortz.”
Before Diamond could react, they felt two strong arms wrap around their small torso, gripping on tightly to their back. Bortz buried their head in Diamond’s shoulders as they embraced their former partner in an embrace. Parts of their hair fell on Diamond’s face, which tickled their cheeks. Diamond let out a small laugh from the sensation, which only caused Bortz to grip on tighter.
Diamond wasn’t sure how to respond to the sudden affection Bortz was displaying, but they knew they were happy. Seeing a different side of Bortz was probably a once in a lifetime chance, so Diamond did their best to relish in it. They managed to squeeze their arms together and rest them on Bortz’s head. They planted a small kiss on their forehead—a display of affection Phos had pulled out of Sensei not long ago.
“What does that mean?” Bortz questioned, a slight irritation in their voice.
Diamond giggled, patting Bortz’s head. “It’s an ancient display of affection that Sensei taught us. It’s only to be used on someone we truly love.”
A long silence fell between the two gems before Bortz spoke up again. “That’s fine then, I guess.”
The two sat in silence once again—Bortz clinging to Diamond, and Diamond patting the top of Bortz’s head. This continued for a very long time until Bortz let go of Diamond, which caused the gem to loosen their grip on Bortz’s head. Bortz took a seat next to Diamond, hands clasped together and fingers interwoven.
“You were very brave to fight off that monster all by yourself.”
Diamond laughed nervously, touching one of the cracks underneath their eyes. “But in the end, I still wasn’t able to defeat it, even though it ended up being so harmless.”
“Don’t do that.” Bortz’s voice showed a stark increase in agitation.
“Don’t do what?” Diamond asked, tucking a stray piece of hair behind their ear.
“Don’t discredit your accomplishments. You did… a good job.” Bortz paused. “You… don’t need to keep pushing yourself to be a strong as I am.”
“But—”
“No!” Bortz shouted, which startled Diamond a bit. “You’re not me, stop trying to be me!” Bortz sighed, their temper flaring down slightly. “Look, you only need to be as strong as you are.”
Diamond blinked their eyes rapidly in disbelief, fidgeting with their fingers once again. “I only need to be as strong as… I am?”
“Yeah.” Bortz responded, taking a hold of Diamond’s hand in their own, which interrupted Diamond’s fidgeting. “You don’t need to compete with me.”
Diamond squeezed the hand that Bortz had taken a hold of, but was unable to make eye contact. “Then why do you always tell me I’m useless?”
Bortz was silent for a long time, contemplating how to word “I’m a dumbass” without saying… just that.
“I was… wrong.”
Ah yes, perfect. Nicely done, asshole.
Diamond’s response was definitely not what Bortz had in mind when they confessed something so difficult. They saw Diamond bring their free hand over their mouth in surprise, and gasped very loudly in a mocking tone. “Bortz? Wrong? I can’t believe I’ve lived to see this day!”
“Dia!!” Bortz screamed, releasing their grip on Diamond’s hand and crossing their arms in defiance.
Diamond only laughed—a laugh that was probably the most dramatic and loud that Bortz had ever seen them exhibit. It was difficult not to smile at the sight, but Bortz’s pride held in the emotion starkly.
After a very long laughing fit from Diamond, Bortz uncrossed their arms and gently laid a hand on Diamond’s shoulder while the other rested on their chin. “I’m… sorry, Dia.”
Diamond only smiled, closing their eyes. “I’m sorry, too. I should have said something.”
Bortz’s hand reached around to the side of Diamond’s shoulder, pulling them into a small embrace. They sat together for quite a while until Diamond broke the silence.
“Why don’t you stay here tonight?” They asked softly, a delicate pink warming their cheeks.
Bortz only smiled, a similar pink gracing their own cheeks. They squeezed the hand around Diamond’s shoulders as Diamond snuggled their head into Bortz’s shoulder. The robe embracing Diamond’s figure slipped off their shoulders, but neither minded. For it was in that moment that the both of them were finally, truly, at peace with the other.